Sunday, January 4, 2009

There's no pausing through life

About three weeks after coming back from India, I'm finally catching up with myself and taking the time out to think about what I just went through. India certainly had it's ups and downs......changing apartments two weeks into the semester, crazy internship days, new life long connections, time for inner thinking...the list goes on and on. As much as I was happy to leave Mumbai, I was also sad to leave south India. South India especially gave me the chance to catch up with my Dad and also catch up with my own thoughts that were in my head. It was so wonderful and rewarding to just experience spirituality and grow as a person...never mind, what a life changing experience seeing all those temples and backwaters of Kerala were.

When I came back from India, I thought that I would be able to pick my life up right where it left off.....WRONG! I guess this is what everyone was calling reverse culture shock. I was gone from my friends and family for 4 months, yes, but in some way I thought that I would be able to have the same life that I had back in August. After coming back to the States, I've realized that while I was gone, people moved on with their lives. My friends moved on with theirs, my family moved on with theirs....their lives were still going on just as my life was going on in India. But for some reason, I thought my life could be the same when I got back to the States. And part of me still wishes for that. I miss hanging out with my friends. I hate not knowing what's been going on with their lives for the past few months. I hate that it could take a few more months to finally catch up on each other's lives.

At the same time, I'm glad my life wasn't the same as it was back in August. India has changed me in ways that I don't even know yet. There are going to be days when I know my opinion for something has changed because of my experiences in India. In India I was able to turn off my American life (my cell phone, the internet, the media, the latest entertainment news....) and just look inward. I didn't realize it then, but I needed to look inside myself then more than ever. I needed this mental vacation in order to clear thoughts from my head, think about what I wanted to do the rest of my life, and just get away from the hustle and bustle of the American lifestyle. As much as I love my cell phone, I was so happy to not hear it ring when I was in India. I was so happy to turn on the tv and not have to hear about Britney Spears' latest hospital visit. So in a way, I am so happy that my life didn't pause while I was in India.

But is it wrong for me to want my life in India to keep playing while my life in America was paused for four months??

P.S. And as for all my experiences and reflections on India, don't you worry, they're all coming...

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

You have grown so very much in the past 4 months. We continue to be very proud of you and look forward to reading more of your blog & seeing pictures.

The elephants continue to hang in our living room and are getting aclimated to life in the USA.

The Lawyer

Westopher said...

This must have been an amazing experience I'm sure... and the culture shock of returning may go away a little but your experiences will stay with you. I can't wait to hear more of your reflections upon returning to the states and welcome back!